I Need a Customized Friend

I labeled this post under "rant", but I don't want it to come out like I'm angry right now. This is more of a desperate search to find someone out in the big world like me. Although I have made some great friends here, my title is about needing a friend who gets what it's like to have some sometimes crazy and hilarious expectations from people.

Becoming a pastor's wife can be difficult, but there are times when it is very rewarding. I love being around people. I love laughing and talking and honestly I feel like I can relate or at least carry on a fun conversation with just about anyone. I am an extrovert so being a PW gives me that fulfillment. Another plus is the fact that my husband and I can have a relationship with each other and with God. That was always my #1 priority when trying to find a mate. I wanted someone that I could talk with about our faith, life, God, etc. I also love hearing my husband preach,and watching him nurture other people. Most importantly we have made some amazing friends along the way that we otherwise wouldn't have made.

Unfortunately, I'm not focusing on the "good" things about being a pastor's wife today because lately I've been struggling to feel like I'm normal in the fact that so many things bother me about being a PW. I know it's ok to struggle with this, but living in a small town you can't really go to anyone in that town to confess your frustrations...it'll likely get back to people that woops, you aren't this perfect little PW that they've been expecting you to be. Right now I'm focusing on finding an outlet so that the negatives of being a PW don't outweigh the positives. I'm seeking, you could say, help!

So, last year I joined a PW forum. That's been a good experience. I've befriended a super cool Pentecostal woman I still keep in contact with. I've also met some really nice Missouri Synod wives. I'm frustrated though because I have yet to meet a younger PW, of the same denomination, that struggles with the same types of things. So for now, the forum is ok. I just don't feel "on the same level" as many of the women, which immediately makes me feel like I am all wrong for this role. I sometimes wonder if there is anyone out there that is a younger, ELCA lutheran, liberal, fiesty, don't push me around type of PW.

I didn't give up though! I tried searching for some blogs. Amazing women they seem to be, I must tell you. Quoting scripture, praying, etc...I guess their blogs are more of a ministry blog instead of about their everyday real lives. Not that them praying and things isn't their real lives, but do you know what I mean? I want to meet another PW that isn't afraid to say my house is so dirty right now that we now share living quarters with fruit flies. C'mon...isn't anyone else out there get tired of portraying this perfect image! I'm sure a lot of them are very human....they're probably too scared to share anything that isn't spiritual, positive, and good. I know first hand...you can be judged for that. They are probably just avoiding any type of negative feedback.

Anyway, so here I sit searching and searching for someone who is more like me. Someone in the same boat. I won't give up, but if you happen to run across anyone before I do let me know.

Here's what my classified ad would say....

Small town progressive Pastor's Wife seeks mid-twenties PW who struggles with the daily grind of being a PW. Must have open minded views (no racism, sexism, or classism please) and be willing to admit sometimes being a PW ticks them off. Must be able to admit the former statement out loud. Not being very good at singing, playing the piano, or cooking would be a plus. Must not talk like you are a walking bible study 100% of the time. Of course, Godly conversation and mutual friendship is preferred.


Is that too much to ask? I guess my ad is pretty precise and I'm totally kidding about the cooking, singing, piano playing thing. I just don't do any of those well. Maybe God is listening though:) Sending up a little prayer, because frankly I think my husband wants to duct tape my mouth shut sometimes:) I can't blame him.....I am not one to keep my mouth shut...oops!